Hey Mac
by NettieC
Summary: Written from Harm's POV, Harm is feeling desolate as he waits by Mac's hospital bed for her to wake up so he can tell her their dreams have come true. Only thing is, will she wake up?


Disclaimer: Not mine  
AN: Written for the HBX Challenge #2

-  
Hey Mac,

Did you know it's five years since we tossed that coin at McMurphy's? Five years! Time has surely flown by. And do you remember it came down on heads which meant London but how we ended up in San Diego instead?

Anyway, I was clearing out some of those boxes in the attic that I kept saying I would get around to one day and found a photo from that night. You looked absolutely stunning and I remember it was all I could do to keep my jaw off the floor. I always knew you were beautiful, inside and out, and I guess after our encounter earlier that evening, our first encounter, that night you just took my breath away ... something you continue to do every time I see you.

Right now, that day seems like yesterday – and a life time ago. I look at you and you are far more beautiful than on that day, and I love you more than I ever thought possible.

I rearranged the study last night like you asked me to do months ago and hung those photos from our wedding. I think AJ's grown three feet since then. He was towering over his mom when I saw them in DC last month.

Did I tell you Bud's coming here for a conference next week? I offered him the guest room but he thought it may be too much at the moment, considering... I said it was okay with us but I think he's going to take the option of a billet.

Mom phoned again today and was asking about you. The gallery is going well and she is really busy with the plans for the extension. She's so excited about the children's art rooms going in and already has a few artists lined up for the initial programs.

She was saying that Grams hasn't been well lately. I called Grams and she said it was nothing, just mom fussing but she sounded terrible. Sounds more like laryngitis than the flu but it's winter and she's over ninety, so I guess it's to be expected.

Oh, I nearly forgot, Mattie sent an email and it looks like she and Steve are getting more serious. I think that she thinks that he's going to propose soon, but when I asked her straight out she said she didn't think that way...but I still do... call it father's intuition.

And Chloe sent us a photo taken at Alannah's second birthday. It's hard to believe her baby girl is two already. She's such a gorgeous little thing with the long blonde curly hair and blue eyes just like her mom. She says Peter is taking about giving Alannah a little brother or sister but she wants to put it off for at least another few months...but, as she said the first time, nature will take its own course.

So, what else was there...I guess you really don't want to hear about the weather or politics and such... it's the same old, same old...

Um...

That might be about all the news for today, so I'll leave it at that and write some more tomorrow.

Love you always,  
Harm  
Xox

Having read the contents aloud to my wife, I fold the paper once more and kiss it, before placing it in the nearby drawer with the others I have written to her. Reaching out, I take Mac's hand before kissing it and squeezing it.  
"Anytime you're ready, gorgeous, anytime at all...I'll be here," I whisper as I finally allow my tears to fall.

It's been seventeen eternally long days since my beloved Mac slipped into a coma as the result of an accident caused by a drunk driver running a red light. The doctors are saying everything's looking good ... everything except the fact she won't wake up.

And I'm desperate for her to wake...there's so much I want to tell her, so much I can't do justice to putting pen to paper. The biggest thing is that I am going to be a daddy and she is going to be a mommy...and that's news I want to come from my lips to her ears. I want to be the one who tells her our dreams are coming true...that finally we've made good on the baby deal. I want to see her face when she knows that the baby she has longed for is here.

I place my hand on her still flat abdomen and wonder if Mac can feel it. Whether or not at some level she knows the baby is there. I wonder if she knows I'm here...I'd like to think she does. Even if she doesn't, it makes me feel better just being here.

For a couple of weeks Mac hadn't been feeling the best, on and off, and on the day of the accident she was headed to Bethesda for an appointment. If she had have made it her OBGYN would have done the tests and confirmed the news then and we would have celebrated in all sorts of ways.

But instead of it being the best day, it was the worst... I'll never forget the call telling me of the accident...of the race to the hospital, of the endless hours in the emergency room...

And then came the news that Mac was actually pregnant, despite all the odds...A whole lot of tests and scans later and the doctor determined she was just over seven weeks pregnant. Now, she's nearly ten and all the signs indicate the baby is fine...now, if only the same could be said for its mother.

It's been a hell of a few weeks... and some days I am coping better than others – yesterday was a good day and I picked up a dozen baby magazines and catalogues so we can go through them when she's awake.

Today, it's not so good...I woke up crying and it's been the story of the day.

I think it's just this day getting the better of me...

Five years since McMurphy's.

Four years since our wedding on the beach in St Vincent's.

Three years since we moved into our beautiful house.

Two years since we adopted our rescue dog, Charlie.

One year since our month long holiday to Africa began...

This date is etched with such good memories...

I just can't help but feel saddened by the fact this is the first time in five years Mac is not going to share the day with me.

I close my eyes and squeeze her hand once more...

Thinking, hoping, praying...

Praying... thinking... hoping...

Hoping...praying...thinking...

In the midst of all of it I feel something different.

Opening my eyes I am greeted by the most incredible sight I have ever seen...Mac's eyes are open...her deep chocolate eyes are cloudy and unfocused but they are opened nonetheless.

"Mac?" I say in barely a whisper.  
"Hey," she croaks.  
"How do you feel?" I ask, kissing her hand repeatedly.  
"Crap..." she replies wearily.  
"I'm sure you do," I say, pressing her buzzer. "But you've never looked more beautiful to me. I love you very much, Mac."  
"Love..." she manages before her eyes flutter closed.

For the next ten minutes I am forced into the corridor while the doctors and nurses do their stuff. I am so tempted to phone people and let them know the good news, but I don't...just in case I dreamt it all...

So I wait...

And pace...

And pace...

And wait...

And an eternity later the doctor comes out to me and for the first time in three weeks is actually smiling as he approaches me.  
"Well, Harm," he says, "Sarah's awake...she may be a little groggy for awhile, after all, she's been asleep two and a half weeks."  
"And is everything okay?" I ask, needing him to say the words.  
"Everything is looking good," he says, patting my arm.  
"And the baby?" I ask, my voice disappearing.  
"Baby is looking good too," he says, with a genuine smile.  
"Does she know she's pregnant?" I ask, taking a deep breath.  
"Nope, not yet," he says. "Thought I'd leave that to you."

It's then it strikes me that the doctor is looking just as tired as I feel. And then, as I think about it, every time I've wanted to talk about something...or Mac's needed something, this man has been there...each and every time.  
"Thank you for everything you've done for Mac and me, Dr Ellison," I say, firmly shaking his hand.  
"It's been my pleasure," he replies, patting my back. "Now, go tell your wife."

Standing by her bed, I suddenly feel incredibly nervous. I've rehearsed this conversation, day and night, for seventeen days and now that she's looking at me...actually awake and looking at me I feel nervous.

Mac holds a shaky hand out to me and I walk over and take it before kissing her forehead, her cheek and her lips.  
"Love you, Harm," she mutters, her voice still not strong.  
"Love you too, Mac," I reply, resting my forehead against hers.  
"Sorry..." she says tearfully and I shake my head. She has nothing to be sorry for...none of this was her fault - none of it.  
"I have some news..." I start slowly, my eyes firmly fixed on hers. I can feel her hand squeeze mine as she tries to determine whether it's good or bad news.  
"What?" she whispers.  
"Well, it seems that we've made good on our baby deal," I say and watch as her brow furrows in confusion. "You're pregnant," I add, realising she just needs the simple facts in her current state. "Ten weeks."  
"Pregnant?" she mouths and I nod.  
"Ten weeks?" she mouths and I nod.  
"Ten weeks pregnant?" she says with a little more volume and I nod again.

Slowly, her hand leaves mine and travels to her abdomen and her eyes fix on the home of our baby. Looking down at her I see the disbelief play across her face and then I see the tears falling. Moving forward I wrap my arms around her the best I can do, mindful of the wires and tubes still attached.

"You okay?" I ask and can feel her nod against my chest. "I love you very much."

Not seeming capable of words, she nods once more. I can only imagine how overwhelming it is for her. I've known for seventeen days and still find it incredible.  
"Is the baby alright?" she asks, finally pulling back and it's my turn to nod.  
"Doctor Ellison says everything's good," I reassure her.

Finally, she smiles and it's the most wonderful sight...my beautiful wife is awake, pregnant and happy on our very special day...

And once again this day is etched with such good memories.****


End file.
